


I'm Never Getting Laid Again

by Xyliandra



Series: Reigisa Week [2]
Category: Free!
Genre: Established Relationship, Implied Sexual Content, Laughter, M/M, Mild Language, Sexual Misadventures
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-18
Updated: 2014-06-18
Packaged: 2018-02-05 04:37:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1805545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xyliandra/pseuds/Xyliandra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sex goes horribly wrong. Nagisa is embarrassed. Rei continues to love him anyway.</p><p>Written for <a href="http://reigisaweek.tumblr.com/">Reigisa Week</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Never Getting Laid Again

_Maybe if I focus real hard and stay real still, I could make myself disappear,_ Nagisa thought grimly. _Invisibility. Teleportation. Universe, I’m not picky. Just get me out of here._

"Nagisa-kun? Where are you?”

Nagisa pulled the covers over his head and gripped them tight against his body.

“Nagisa-kun?”

He felt the bed dip beside him. _So much for disappearing…_

“Nagisa-kun?”

"I'm not here!"

"Nagisa-kun, I'm touching you," Rei stated.

"Nope. Not me. Must be someone else."

"Nagisa, don't be ridiculous." Rei tugged on the blankets. "Come out already. "

"No."

"Please?"

"I don't want to."

"Why not?"

"Because!"

"Because?"

"Because I'm embarrassed!" Nagisa squeaked. His knew he was blushing.  His whole body felt like it was burning.

"Nagisa," Rei started sympathetically, rubbing small circles through the covers. Nagisa rolled away from his partner, pulling his limbs closer to his chest.

"Go away."

"Nagisa, there is no need to be embarrassed." Nagisa threw the blanket off himself and sat up with a start.

"I have every need to be embarrassed. Wait. I didn't even say that right did I?" He didn't wait for a response before burying his face in his hands. "I mess everything up."

"Nagisa, that is not tr-"

"It’s absolutely true! I messed up that expression. I messed up the exchange at practice today. I messed up your study schedule."

"Nagisa."

"I messed up dinner. I messed up the movie. I messed up sex. SEX! I was pretty sure that was the _one_ thing I was good at."

"Nagisa."

"But NOPE Nagisa can't do sex right either. If you want me to get dressed and go, I wouldn't blame you. Ya know what? I'm just gonna do that." Nagisa kicked off the blanket and swung his legs over the bed. "I’ll be out of your hair in a few Rei-chan. Sorry again.” Nagisa started to stand but was gently pulled back down. He tried to stand up again, but Rei held him firmly in place, thumb stroking his bicep.

“Guin, please look at me,” Rei murmured fondly. Nagisa’s heart fluttered.

“That’s cheating,” Nagisa grumbled

"How am I cheating?" Rei challenged with a smile.

"Because when you call me that my heart goes all funny and I can't breathe right." He glanced at Rei through his lashes. “And you know that. So it’s cheating.”

“I am not cheating,” he insisted, tilting Nagisa’s chin up his free hand. “I am making you listen, Guin. So look at me.” Magenta eyes met amethyst. “You do not mess ‘everything’ up. You are quite skilled sexually. And I do not want you to leave.” Rei leaned forward and placed a light kiss on Nagisa’s lips. “So, please, stop fretting.”

“I make no promises,” he countered with a small pout. Rei seemed satisfied with his response.

“Shall we finish the movie? There should be approximately 15 minutes left.”

“I guess…”

“Then it is decided. Now come over here and snuggle,” he demanded with a smile. Nagisa reluctantly crawled over to where Rei was propped against a half-dozen pillows and allowed himself to be pulled into a tight embrace. Rei nuzzled into Nagisa’s hair with a content sigh.

After a few moments, a dark thought crossed Nagisa’s mind. “I’m never getting any again,” Nagisa groaned into Rei’s bare chest.

“Hmm?”

“I’m never getting laid again,” he repeated glumly.

“Why do you say that Guin?” Rei asked, stroking Nagisa’s hair.

“After what just happened? _I_ wouldn’t want to have sex with me.” Rei chuckled softly

“Then I supposed that is one more reason I am glad that I am not you, Guin.” Nagisa shoved Rei.

“Shut up. You’re so mean to me,” he whined dramatically. Rei freed an arm to cue up the remainder of the movie, peppering Nagisa with kisses.

“I fully intend to have sex with you in the future Nagisa,” Rei stated seriously, leaning in for a long kiss. “I will always want to have sex with you.  Please stop acting like me and overanalyzing everything. Sex does not always go according to plan, but I will never love you any less.”

Nagisa nuzzled into the juncture of Rei’s neck. “You mean it?” he asked warmly. Rei could feel the smile against his skin.

“Naturally. Now stop fishing for declarations of love and watch the last scene with me.” The two rearranged themselves into positions suitably comfortable for watching the last chunk of their movie. Rei continued to press loving kisses wherever he could reach.

Then, with only minutes left of the movie, the screen froze. Both boys cried out in annoyance.

“Are you fucking serious?” Nagisa growled.

“Maybe the movie is buffering?”

Nagisa was about to explain why Rei’s suggestion was utterly ridiculous, when a green playback errors ominously filled the screen.

“Fucking _fuck_. I just want to see the end of the movie.” Nagisa felt the body beneath him shake. He turned his head to ask if Rei was okay and was met with the sight of his lover barely concealing his laughter. “Rei?”

The taller man cleared his throat and tried to keep his voice even. “Sorry,” he said breathlessly. “It seems tonight, the universe just doesn’t want us to finish.” As the words past his lips, he burst back into a fit laughter.

Nagisa stared at him for a beat before the meaning of his words sunk in. He couldn’t help but chuckle as well. “That’s a ter-rei-ble joke babycakes.”

“This coming from the man who relies on poorly executed puns?” Rei quipped, still laughing. Nagisa flipped himself over to straddle Rei

“Oh. It’s _on_.” Nagisa started tickling him mercilessly. Rei flailed, partly out of reflex and partly to dislodge his partner.

“ _Bastard,_ ” Rei gasped.

Their laughter intertwined, filling  the room. The day’s mishaps were soon forgotten.

\-----

 

“Sex and laughter do go very well together, and I wondered- and I still do- which is more important.” -Hermione Gingold


End file.
